As you have long suspected, the threat of lawn gnomes has been spreading. What was only a problem for north American suburbia has now spread to the shores of Rio de Janeiro. Copacabana and Ipanema are no longer safe. Likely, your flats, apartments and hotels are about to be overrun, if they haven't already. The garden gnomes are here on holiday with a few days to kill, literally. Here are a few tips on living through the onslaught before they are crawling all over the real estate that you just happen to be taking up.
Firstly, you need to be familiar with your exit strategies for the apartments or hotels that you might be staying at. Practice exiting from a first-story window. You may need to jump from your accommodations if a hoard of gnomes are creeping around your flats. Don't forget to commit to memory the layouts. Those little bastards have been known to cut power lines. Also, be sure and have a second bicycle concealed. Lawn gnomes always disable your car rentals and also your bicycle before their attack. And finally, don't forget cardio. That bicycle won't do you any good if you can't peddle your heart out.
If escape from your apartments or hotels are not an option, you could be left with hand to gnome combat. Keep a weapon in every room so you always have something available to fight back. Also, get in the habit of dressing in layers. Their little blades and arrows will have a harder time penetrating layers of clothes. This will make accommodations for at least some security.
Also, you can't forget to practice for the impending doom of a garden gnome onslaught in Rio de Janeiro. Practice rising from bed quickly in attack mode. One hand to extends to for a flashlight and the other should have already got a weapon in hand to club or stab the little demons. One might also contemplate rentals of some robust firepower.
No one ever estimated for this kind of assault to occur in Rio de Janeiro, so good luck. No one estimated that the lawn gnomes would be venturing south. So it looks like you must cut your vacation short.
Copacabana and Ipanema will both soon be crawling with them. It should be noted that none of the tips in this guide will guarantee your survival in the eventuality of a brutal lawn gnome attack, but it should at least give you a fighting chance. Good hunting and stay safe!
Firstly, you need to be familiar with your exit strategies for the apartments or hotels that you might be staying at. Practice exiting from a first-story window. You may need to jump from your accommodations if a hoard of gnomes are creeping around your flats. Don't forget to commit to memory the layouts. Those little bastards have been known to cut power lines. Also, be sure and have a second bicycle concealed. Lawn gnomes always disable your car rentals and also your bicycle before their attack. And finally, don't forget cardio. That bicycle won't do you any good if you can't peddle your heart out.
If escape from your apartments or hotels are not an option, you could be left with hand to gnome combat. Keep a weapon in every room so you always have something available to fight back. Also, get in the habit of dressing in layers. Their little blades and arrows will have a harder time penetrating layers of clothes. This will make accommodations for at least some security.
Also, you can't forget to practice for the impending doom of a garden gnome onslaught in Rio de Janeiro. Practice rising from bed quickly in attack mode. One hand to extends to for a flashlight and the other should have already got a weapon in hand to club or stab the little demons. One might also contemplate rentals of some robust firepower.
No one ever estimated for this kind of assault to occur in Rio de Janeiro, so good luck. No one estimated that the lawn gnomes would be venturing south. So it looks like you must cut your vacation short.
Copacabana and Ipanema will both soon be crawling with them. It should be noted that none of the tips in this guide will guarantee your survival in the eventuality of a brutal lawn gnome attack, but it should at least give you a fighting chance. Good hunting and stay safe!
About the Author:
Rio de Janeiro Properties is a vacation rentals organization in Brazil providing apartment rentals in rio. Go to website now to evaluate images of their available copacabana, ipanema and rio de janeiro apartments.
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