Monday, September 21, 2009

Extra-ordinary Uses for the Indoor Bug Zapper

By Owen Jones

I don't know whether you have ever used a handheld, indoor bug zapper, but I think that they are awe-inspiring. I'm talking about the handheld type that looks like a child?s plastic, toy tennis racquet. They come in two basic types. I prefer the rechargeable bug zapper, for the reason that batteries end up up costing more than the indoor bug zapper itself, although you could always buy rechargeable batteries, but then they are steep as well.

My wife and I like to spend time in the garden. We meet friends there, dine there and in general loaf about outside, as do most folks about here, when they are not working. What's more, it?s much cooler outside than inside. A comfortable chair, a few snacks, a cool drink and a book or a companion and life does not get much better. In fact, it's idyllic.

That is until about six or seven o'clock when the first squadron of mosquitoes have judged that the sun's rays have lost enough strength that they will not evaporate and they come out looking for blood. Some evenings are worse than others, of course. Normally, the mosquitoes are pretty bearable, especially seeing as I have discovered the indoor bug zapper. (I don't know why it is called an 'indoor bug zapper', it is equally as effective outdoors as in).

It's not that I want to kill things, but I find it difficult to have sympathy for mosquitoes. Nevertheless, I do get a certain amount of enjoyment from seeing and hearing mosquitoes and other bugs literally blow up with a flash and a spark as they come into contact with the electric and ground wires of the indoor bug zapper. These electric bug zappers are capable of packing quite a charge, especially if the batteries are new or the pack is wholly charged.

The other day, I discovered a novel use for my handheld, indoor bug zapper. I'll tell you how it came about. I was in the garden, as usual, and my bug zapper was close at hand as the first squadron of mosquitoes was due. I had my book in one hand and the bug zapper on my knees, when my wife asked me to go to the shop for her. No problem, so, I set off on the five minute walk.

I was half-way there when I noticed that I had the indoor bug zapper in my hand, but it was not worth taking it home and beginning the journey again. Anyhow, on my return journey, I had my small bag of groceries in one hand and the indoor bug zapper in the other, when a local tyrant of a dog came running out of a garden directly for me. This has happened often and, although he has never bitten me yet, it is rather menacing. He stood there glaring at me with teeth bared and his 'pack' of assorted local pals came out to encircle me and join in.

I don't actually know what the best tactic is in this situation. I have tried standing my ground, but the threat just goes on and I have tried to continue walking, but he gets terrifyingly near sometimes. This time, I suddenly lashed out with the indoor bug zapper and just hit him on the nose. Well, I'm not sure if it hurt him, it did not seem to too much, but it gave him a very nasty shock in more ways than one, I can tell you! He leapt about four feet into the air as if he were on a pogo stick and then fled for all he was worth with all his pals behind him. It was very gratifying after six months of persecution from this dog.

Nevertheless, I don't take my indoor bug zapper all over the place with me, but I will in future, if any further local dogs bother me. I know it works a treat. I have seen that one since, but he stays far away from me and doesn't utter a sound. I believe I would take my indoor bug zapper with me, if I were wandering in an unknown part of town or the park nonetheless.

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